The modern history of women can be summed up in three sentences:
Women demand equality.
Girls just want to have fun.
Ladies want to loll about.
Hillary Rodman Clinton remains a go-getter, clambering up the ladder, seeking gender equity, trying to shed the title she scorns.
But others are celebrating the lady-chic, indulging in the old fashioned dress and lanquid behavior that predated the hard-charging feminism.
Women want to be rescued.
Women want to flirt.
Women want to shop til they drop.
Women want to get married, stay home and be taken care of..
The new female role model celebrated in women's magazines are socialites and debutantes, Palm Beach matrons and Park Avenue Princesses.
Thiry five years of striving have tuckered women out. "You go girl!" has been downshifted to "you go lie down, girl!"
What an arc: from powder puffs to empowerment to powder puffs.
Women who used to abhor the Mommy track now pray for it.
If twenty somethings are tired, think about how forty-somethings are dragging.
Five years ago, I would often hear women say they fantasize about having a wife: somebody to do the shopping, cooking, carpooling, so they could focus on work.
Now the fantasy is more retro: they just want to be the wife.
Many women I know now, who once disdained their mothers' lifestyles, no longer see their lives as boring and indulgent. Now they look back with a tad of longing.
The other night, I was watching the dvd series of SEX IN THE CITY, and the ladies were discussing the appeal of firemen.
"It's because women really just want to be rescued", says Charlotte. I'm sorry, but I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted. Where is he?"
There it was the sentence independent single women in their thirties are never supposed to think, let alone speak.
So, ladies, there you have it: Shop. Eat shrimp cocktail. Flirt. Get rescued. The new definition of Having It All.
Excuse me....while I burn my Cosmopolitan...And Puke!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
MS.KOOLTHANG
Why did I never get married? It's a question that occupies a permanent space in my mind. I have never been married which often surprises people I meet. I consider myself a somewhat educated woman, I'm cosmopolitian, responsible and self sufficient. I consider myself a pretty well rounded grounded woman who grew up in a loving home.
So why didn't it ever happen for me? I don't know. ..I've never been anti marriage..contrary to poplular belief I've always privately seen myself with a husband and maybe even a child..It's always floated around in my head just not at the forfront of it..With some reflection over the past few months..I guess it's a combination of high expectations or maybe just plain bad luck...that's a family trait I suppose.
I was never and will never be willing to "settle". I wanted a husband who is my equal, whom I'm compatiable with, and whom I can love and respect with all-my whole heart. As I would expect him to do with me...I never thought this a impossible task..Many women find their MR. RIGHT...don't mistake me...Not MISTER RIGHT!! but the guy they can live with and maybe be Satisfied-enough with to make a family.
But it never happened for me. Not with the men I've met.
Now the problem: Most of the time I find contentment with myself..who I believe I am and who maybe I was meant to be. And I'm fine with it. Maybe even proud of it. But there are those times as I grow older, particulary when I'm around family situations. That I look at the future and it seems empty and desolute. And the sadness can run very deep for me. I sometimes feel the need to withdraw and isolate myself from friends and family who have families. Because I can feel like the odd one out, the pitied one.
There are days where I feel kinda like the train has left the station and I'm still on the platform. Feeling adrift, purposeless and like my life is already finished. When it has barely even started. But then I'm reminded that maybe this whole time I've been after something else. something not soo typical. Maybe I gave something up for something more important to me. Maybe I'm paying the cost of being true to myself. And following my own path..A different path but a no less worthy one.
I don't have the answers and I suspect if I did...I would be analyzing and overanlyzing them. Cause that's what I do...I also suspect if I did...I'd be alot more bored with myself....so time marches on...and so do I!!!!!
So why didn't it ever happen for me? I don't know. ..I've never been anti marriage..contrary to poplular belief I've always privately seen myself with a husband and maybe even a child..It's always floated around in my head just not at the forfront of it..With some reflection over the past few months..I guess it's a combination of high expectations or maybe just plain bad luck...that's a family trait I suppose.
I was never and will never be willing to "settle". I wanted a husband who is my equal, whom I'm compatiable with, and whom I can love and respect with all-my whole heart. As I would expect him to do with me...I never thought this a impossible task..Many women find their MR. RIGHT...don't mistake me...Not MISTER RIGHT!! but the guy they can live with and maybe be Satisfied-enough with to make a family.
But it never happened for me. Not with the men I've met.
Now the problem: Most of the time I find contentment with myself..who I believe I am and who maybe I was meant to be. And I'm fine with it. Maybe even proud of it. But there are those times as I grow older, particulary when I'm around family situations. That I look at the future and it seems empty and desolute. And the sadness can run very deep for me. I sometimes feel the need to withdraw and isolate myself from friends and family who have families. Because I can feel like the odd one out, the pitied one.
There are days where I feel kinda like the train has left the station and I'm still on the platform. Feeling adrift, purposeless and like my life is already finished. When it has barely even started. But then I'm reminded that maybe this whole time I've been after something else. something not soo typical. Maybe I gave something up for something more important to me. Maybe I'm paying the cost of being true to myself. And following my own path..A different path but a no less worthy one.
I don't have the answers and I suspect if I did...I would be analyzing and overanlyzing them. Cause that's what I do...I also suspect if I did...I'd be alot more bored with myself....so time marches on...and so do I!!!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
WHO MARRIED UP: THE WOMEN OR THE MEN
Once upon a time, Cinderella fell out of favor.
In the 70's, feminists found her insipid, waiting in the ashes for her prince. But they didn't give her enough credit.
Teaming with the spirit of her dead mother, Cinderella cleverly rescues herself from servitude. Conjures up her own glittery makeover then saves the prince from the same torment she endured living with her hedious stepsisters.
The Grimms' version doesn't end with any Disneyesque pablum about Happily Ever After. It finsihes with a gory Hitchcockian wedding scence feauturing two vengeful birds from the grave of Cinderella's mother: as the bridal party leaves church, the white dove's fly from Cinderella's shoulders to pluck out the eyes of the wicked stepsisters.
Those unsisterly sisters messed with the wrong girl.
In real life, however, many of our Cinderella brides have taken tragic turns, from Jackie Kennedy to Grace Kelly to Carolyn Bessette to the doe-eyed Diana Spencer.
Yet the power of the fairy tale was vividly illustrated once more with the luminous wedding of comely commoner Kate Middleton to a charming Prince William, and a hypnotic new film adaptation of " Jane Eyre", Charlotte Bronte" gothic take on the Cinderella story.
The enduring fable is a female version of " The Odyssey". Our herione, starting with a family disadvantage, facing hypocrises, cruelities and obstacles, on a periolous journey to a thrilling new world, and uses her wits and integrity to triumph.
The new christened Duchess of Cambridge only had to rise above a middle-class background, the hydra-headed press beast, and Will's understandable hesitation about marriage.
But her task is herculean: to help save a stiff-necked monarchy sent into a shame spiral by Diana's humilation's and confessions.
A central element of Cinderella's, Jane Eyre, and Charolette Bronte' herself was a mystical connection to a mother who died too young. And that certainly was present at Westminister Abbey, but this time the bride lamented the mother-in-law she would never know.
Jane Eyre is not as lovely as Kate Middleton. Charlotte Bronte,' who never felt attractive herself, wanted to show her sisters that a plain herione could be as compelling as a beautiful one.
Poor little Jane also had a wedding, wearing a beautiful white dress and veil, to the wealthy man of her dreams. When the wedding is shattered by the news that there is already a Mrs. Rochester, Jane listens to her former master's anguished explanation about his mad, vamparished wife in the attic.
He begs her to stay and be " my comforter, my rescuer." When a dazed Jayne goes to bed, she looks out the window and sees the moon start to blaze as if " a white human form shone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthwind. It gazed and gazed on me. It whispered in my heart, ' my daughter, flee temptation."
Jane answers," Mother, I will." picks up her slippers and flees Thornfield Hall.
In the end, after Rochester has been widowed and mutilated for his sins, Jane returns. She rescues her dark prince as he recues her.
When Rochester first meets Jane, he calls her a " curious" sort of caged bird. " a vivid, restless, resolute" one.
When she returns and sees him blind, with one hand gone, she describes him as a " caged, eagle whose gold-ringed eyes cruelety has extinguished."
Now on a footing of equality, because she has inherited money, and is less dependent on him, and he has lost his mansion and sight and is more dependent on her, they release each other from their cages.
Reader, she marries him. It's a bare-boned ceremony with only a parson and clerk present. There's no coach or tiara. But it' s very much a Cinderella ending.
In the 70's, feminists found her insipid, waiting in the ashes for her prince. But they didn't give her enough credit.
Teaming with the spirit of her dead mother, Cinderella cleverly rescues herself from servitude. Conjures up her own glittery makeover then saves the prince from the same torment she endured living with her hedious stepsisters.
The Grimms' version doesn't end with any Disneyesque pablum about Happily Ever After. It finsihes with a gory Hitchcockian wedding scence feauturing two vengeful birds from the grave of Cinderella's mother: as the bridal party leaves church, the white dove's fly from Cinderella's shoulders to pluck out the eyes of the wicked stepsisters.
Those unsisterly sisters messed with the wrong girl.
In real life, however, many of our Cinderella brides have taken tragic turns, from Jackie Kennedy to Grace Kelly to Carolyn Bessette to the doe-eyed Diana Spencer.
Yet the power of the fairy tale was vividly illustrated once more with the luminous wedding of comely commoner Kate Middleton to a charming Prince William, and a hypnotic new film adaptation of " Jane Eyre", Charlotte Bronte" gothic take on the Cinderella story.
The enduring fable is a female version of " The Odyssey". Our herione, starting with a family disadvantage, facing hypocrises, cruelities and obstacles, on a periolous journey to a thrilling new world, and uses her wits and integrity to triumph.
The new christened Duchess of Cambridge only had to rise above a middle-class background, the hydra-headed press beast, and Will's understandable hesitation about marriage.
But her task is herculean: to help save a stiff-necked monarchy sent into a shame spiral by Diana's humilation's and confessions.
A central element of Cinderella's, Jane Eyre, and Charolette Bronte' herself was a mystical connection to a mother who died too young. And that certainly was present at Westminister Abbey, but this time the bride lamented the mother-in-law she would never know.
Jane Eyre is not as lovely as Kate Middleton. Charlotte Bronte,' who never felt attractive herself, wanted to show her sisters that a plain herione could be as compelling as a beautiful one.
Poor little Jane also had a wedding, wearing a beautiful white dress and veil, to the wealthy man of her dreams. When the wedding is shattered by the news that there is already a Mrs. Rochester, Jane listens to her former master's anguished explanation about his mad, vamparished wife in the attic.
He begs her to stay and be " my comforter, my rescuer." When a dazed Jayne goes to bed, she looks out the window and sees the moon start to blaze as if " a white human form shone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthwind. It gazed and gazed on me. It whispered in my heart, ' my daughter, flee temptation."
Jane answers," Mother, I will." picks up her slippers and flees Thornfield Hall.
In the end, after Rochester has been widowed and mutilated for his sins, Jane returns. She rescues her dark prince as he recues her.
When Rochester first meets Jane, he calls her a " curious" sort of caged bird. " a vivid, restless, resolute" one.
When she returns and sees him blind, with one hand gone, she describes him as a " caged, eagle whose gold-ringed eyes cruelety has extinguished."
Now on a footing of equality, because she has inherited money, and is less dependent on him, and he has lost his mansion and sight and is more dependent on her, they release each other from their cages.
Reader, she marries him. It's a bare-boned ceremony with only a parson and clerk present. There's no coach or tiara. But it' s very much a Cinderella ending.
Friday, March 11, 2011
ahhhhhhhhhh fuckkkkkkkkkk
hey,
my email is fucked again...but I'm working on it...I'll get back to you real soon.......k...I miss you...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:P
the sushi chick``~~~~~~~~
my email is fucked again...but I'm working on it...I'll get back to you real soon.......k...I miss you...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:P
the sushi chick``~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
NANCY AND ME
During the early mornings before everyone else's rises..I often get up and put on the classic movie channel and watch all the old classic film stars do their thing...I often do this while I am applying my makeup...and every so often I will see a film I never saw before and get intrigued by...such was the case this past Tuesday...when I saw the movie SID AND NANCY, it was the first time I saw this movie all they way through, I've seen small clips in the past...but I watched it all the way through this time. Start to finish..
All I really knew of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen was that he was a member of one of Kurt Cobain's (my musical hero...) favorite bands The Sex Pistols and Nancy was his girlfriend...I also knew Sid supposedly killed Nancy...but that is all I really knew...So I watch this movie which so intrigued me that I took a trip to the library yesterday in search of my information on the punk duo...and to my surprise I found a well-worn paperback called "And I don't want to live this life," the book her mother had written after Nancy's death. The cover was a photo of Nancy at the height of her Punk notoreity, her eye makeup inky and exquisite, her expression blank as a model's except for the defiant set of her dark painted mouth.
The book was about what a troubled kid Nancy had been-a hellion with a freakishly high IQ and a whole spat of drug and pyschological problems, who was kicked out of school after school and whose family let her move to New York when she was only seventeen, just so they could be free from her spectacular room-trashing tantrums. Now this was a girl who could get her way....I pored over the photos facinated at the transformations Nancy had made, from suburban girl with akward school portraits to the bleach-blond punk princess on the book's cover and then finally, to obituary.
Of course, as a woman of my age knows, I shouldn't be idealizing a dead girl who'd been mentally ill and on herion..but I've been devouring every girl gone crazy chronicle I can find..it's my favorite kind of fiction, from Sybil to The Bell Jar(sylvia plath...one of my favorite author's ever) to I never promised you a rose garden to Bastard Out Of Carolina...and so on...they are stories about girls who feel wildly out of sync with the world who got to yell and scream and punch and kick and who quit being good( a desire I have often felt myself but never acted on)..I know I'm not like Nancy but something about her feels like the truth. For all her wild druggy exploits the thing that sticks with me the most was the caption accompanying a photo of a teenage Nancy, vamping it up for the camera in a sweater and ski pants, " she wore the outfit once and then threw it away," wrote her mother bitterly.
So I watched this movie even though on screen Nancy screeched and bawled and was hooked on smack, and was really just the girlfriend everyone hated..and even though I knew about Nancy and how she was, somehow this Nancy in the movie was not the Nancy I knew. I saw the movie a second time just to make sure it was still sad when Nancy died in the end, and it was. And I was driving home from the library yesterday I wondered what else I could be if I didn't want to be a "good" daughter, or bad girlfriend or dead. And then it kinda dawned on me...there are so many things I wore and then wanted to throw away....~~~~~~~~~the SUSHI CHICK~~~~~~~~~~~~!
All I really knew of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen was that he was a member of one of Kurt Cobain's (my musical hero...) favorite bands The Sex Pistols and Nancy was his girlfriend...I also knew Sid supposedly killed Nancy...but that is all I really knew...So I watch this movie which so intrigued me that I took a trip to the library yesterday in search of my information on the punk duo...and to my surprise I found a well-worn paperback called "And I don't want to live this life," the book her mother had written after Nancy's death. The cover was a photo of Nancy at the height of her Punk notoreity, her eye makeup inky and exquisite, her expression blank as a model's except for the defiant set of her dark painted mouth.
The book was about what a troubled kid Nancy had been-a hellion with a freakishly high IQ and a whole spat of drug and pyschological problems, who was kicked out of school after school and whose family let her move to New York when she was only seventeen, just so they could be free from her spectacular room-trashing tantrums. Now this was a girl who could get her way....I pored over the photos facinated at the transformations Nancy had made, from suburban girl with akward school portraits to the bleach-blond punk princess on the book's cover and then finally, to obituary.
Of course, as a woman of my age knows, I shouldn't be idealizing a dead girl who'd been mentally ill and on herion..but I've been devouring every girl gone crazy chronicle I can find..it's my favorite kind of fiction, from Sybil to The Bell Jar(sylvia plath...one of my favorite author's ever) to I never promised you a rose garden to Bastard Out Of Carolina...and so on...they are stories about girls who feel wildly out of sync with the world who got to yell and scream and punch and kick and who quit being good( a desire I have often felt myself but never acted on)..I know I'm not like Nancy but something about her feels like the truth. For all her wild druggy exploits the thing that sticks with me the most was the caption accompanying a photo of a teenage Nancy, vamping it up for the camera in a sweater and ski pants, " she wore the outfit once and then threw it away," wrote her mother bitterly.
So I watched this movie even though on screen Nancy screeched and bawled and was hooked on smack, and was really just the girlfriend everyone hated..and even though I knew about Nancy and how she was, somehow this Nancy in the movie was not the Nancy I knew. I saw the movie a second time just to make sure it was still sad when Nancy died in the end, and it was. And I was driving home from the library yesterday I wondered what else I could be if I didn't want to be a "good" daughter, or bad girlfriend or dead. And then it kinda dawned on me...there are so many things I wore and then wanted to throw away....~~~~~~~~~the SUSHI CHICK~~~~~~~~~~~~!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
NEW YEAR...SAME SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
X-mas was okay...I hope yours was good also...I'm sure yours was alot more fun being around children..usually it is..It's not been the happiest times of my life though..but hey it's the new year right so I'm trying to look forward...I miss you alot too...I've had to adjust to not getting my daily dose of david-isms...so that kinda sucks...as far as Miko it's going alright I guess..he's away right now...he went to Japan with his band..so he's been gone for the past three weeks...I was hoping he would get back before New Years but doesn't look like it...
But he's a musician so I guess I better get used to him leaving..me alone...I knew what I was getting when I met him so...it's a bummer but I'll deal...
Anyway, I hope you have a Awesome New Years,...mine is gonna suck for the obvious reasons...but hey I'm sure happy times will be here again soon...be well...keep in touch...:)
.....................................................the SUSHI CHICK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But he's a musician so I guess I better get used to him leaving..me alone...I knew what I was getting when I met him so...it's a bummer but I'll deal...
Anyway, I hope you have a Awesome New Years,...mine is gonna suck for the obvious reasons...but hey I'm sure happy times will be here again soon...be well...keep in touch...:)
.....................................................the SUSHI CHICK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday, December 3, 2010
MY BOYFRIENDS BACK
hey, I tried to respond earlier in the week..but for some reason my email won't let me email you back..so I thought maybe this would work...anyway, yep outta minutes that's why I haven't texted you..lately. I'm alright I guess for a unemployed quasi-loser girl..I know, I know you hate when I talk like that....I got some sad news this week..my aunt, the one my sister is named after has lung cancer...on my mother's side. It's terrible...my mother's other sister just died last year ...last october to be exact of bone cancer..and now another sister..I feel so horrible for mommy right now..I can't imagine how difficult this is for her...anyway,, so I've been a bit down this week..miko helps though..he's been feeding me big italian and japenese meals lately...bless his heart...
I keep telling him he is going to make me fat again...he kinda wants me to gain a bit more weight..he thinks I've gotten too thin for his taste anyway, so he is determine to put some weight on me before years end. lol...it shouldn't take long...by what he keeps cooking for me...haha. and I've got to admit I've been really enjoying my sushi meals....I LOVVVVE SUSHI!!!!...miko calls me sushi chick...hence the name of my blog....cause that was our first date..he took me to a sushi bar in columbus...I never ate sushi ....I didn't realize what I was missing....
So if you ever take me on a date...it's SUSHI!!!!!!!!!~~~~~LOL. Oh, my car is gonna be repossed like any day now...so my life kinda sucks right now ...except for miko..and your surprising email...I was happy to get it by the way...you gotta email me more...pleeeeeezzzzzze!!!
So do me a favor and tell shari I haven't forgot about the money I owe her...it's just taking me a little while to come up with it...but I will get it to her before long...I just want her to know ...i'm not screwing her outta her money...thanks..
So enough about me,, what about my favorite boy? what's been up with you lately?....how you been? I wanted to wish you a happy thanksgiving..I'm assuming you had a good one...how was black friday anyway? is cruella de ville still twisting in the wind? and fucking everything up? and has she learned to use a jack yet? lmao!!!
ttyl..~~~Don't be a stranger......................
I keep telling him he is going to make me fat again...he kinda wants me to gain a bit more weight..he thinks I've gotten too thin for his taste anyway, so he is determine to put some weight on me before years end. lol...it shouldn't take long...by what he keeps cooking for me...haha. and I've got to admit I've been really enjoying my sushi meals....I LOVVVVE SUSHI!!!!...miko calls me sushi chick...hence the name of my blog....cause that was our first date..he took me to a sushi bar in columbus...I never ate sushi ....I didn't realize what I was missing....
So if you ever take me on a date...it's SUSHI!!!!!!!!!~~~~~LOL. Oh, my car is gonna be repossed like any day now...so my life kinda sucks right now ...except for miko..and your surprising email...I was happy to get it by the way...you gotta email me more...pleeeeeezzzzzze!!!
So do me a favor and tell shari I haven't forgot about the money I owe her...it's just taking me a little while to come up with it...but I will get it to her before long...I just want her to know ...i'm not screwing her outta her money...thanks..
So enough about me,, what about my favorite boy? what's been up with you lately?....how you been? I wanted to wish you a happy thanksgiving..I'm assuming you had a good one...how was black friday anyway? is cruella de ville still twisting in the wind? and fucking everything up? and has she learned to use a jack yet? lmao!!!
ttyl..~~~Don't be a stranger......................
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